Yep, New Years resolutions are soooo easy to make, there are hundreds of things I need to do or want to do or think I could do to make life better, braver, more awesome, exciting or simply just for fun!
The problem is I can’t stick to them……they don’t last a week or even a day sometimes! I know, it’s pathetic and I can totally understand you believing at this point I have zero willpower (which is not actually true). Once I’ve got my teeth into something I find it impossible to let go……even if I really should.
So what’s the deal with New Year Resolutions then? I really don’t know I just can’t OR more likely don’t want to keep them. So yes you guessed it, I stopped making them.
Well that’s not strictly true. I decided a while ago to trick myself. It’s really not as difficult as you may imagine to brainwash yourself into believing you are not making a new years resolution when in fact that is exactly what you are doing.
First I had to identify why I had such a problem with what really is such a positive way to start the year (and this is not going to surprise those that know me)
I hate being told what to do!……..Even if it’s me telling myself!
I feel boxed in, restricted and very rebellious. It’s a BAD trait, I know this, and one I wish didn’t come back to haunt me at every opportunity that presents itself.
So although my new years resolutions used to start with good intentions and the will to achieve great things, they ALWAYS ended in me feeling as if my liberty had been ripped from my grasp and I was being forced into conforming to everyone elses preconceptions. Why the heck would I want to do that.
So in an attempt to rid myself of this self-destructive predisposition, which prevented me making new years resolutions which would benefit me, I devised a plan on how to make new year resolutions and stick to them without feeling hard done to .
1. Don’t make Any New Years Resolutions
The minute you label it as a “new years resolution” the pressure is on. This is a bad thing! I definitely do not need any more pressure in my life than I already have.
Give me the most productive but easiest option every time and I’m going to go for that.
Instead I set an intention of what my reality will be in 12 months time, a dream if you like. That way when anyone asks “what’s you new years resolution?” I can honestly say with a smile “I don’t have one”.
It makes me feel good. Pressure’s well and truly OFF.
No one is going to ask me “what is your new years intention” (until now maybe……..hmm may have to rethink my personal phrasing)
2. Keep it a Secret
This is hard if like me you are a blurter and things just tumble from your lips before your brain has got into gear.
It really is worth it though if you want to avoid all of those judgy people reminding you of what they think you should be doing to achieve your goal.
Then heaven forbid if you fail (which I’m sure you won’t) all the comments and recriminations that come your way for not achieving your resolution. IT DOESN’T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THEM but that doesn’t matter, they will still feel justified in analyzing and criticizing your actions.
Don’t give them a chance, keep it your little secret and accept the praise when they see you achieve it.
3. Don’t set rigid targets
Life is constantly changing from one day to the next. Being too rigid does not allow for the flow of daily life. Be honest and realistic every day. Beating yourself up if you think you didn’t do enough is one sure way to fail.
By giving yourself some lea way you are able to keep a positive vibe going which results in having increased motivation to keep going.
Give yourself space. Some days you will be able to do more than others. Be good to yourself. Remember every step forwards is going in the right direction.
4.Don’t be Boring – Get Creative
OOOOH I love “the creative”. Repeating the same old thing every day drives me insane.
So if you vision is to be a fitter slimmer healthier you find a variety of activities you enjoy swimming, country walks, dance videos, new recipes to try, different cooking methods and cuisines anything to jazz it up.
5. Borrow Good Ideas – Why re-invent the wheel
Take a look at how the people that are doing what you want to do are getting there. Whether it is creating a business, losing weight or spending more time with those you love.
As an artist I search out the work I love and admire then study how these amazing artists achieve their results.
6. Be Brave Be Ambitious
It’s better to have aspired for great things and fallen short than to have limited yourself to small thinking. If you haven’t achieved it within the year it can always roll over and because it was a secret (you did manage to keep it a secret didn’t you?) No one can accuse you of failing.
7. Believe in Yourself
Believing in yourself is the first step to achieving your goal or desire, and it’s massive.
When I say believe in yourself I honestly mean BELIEVE. Saying I can do it is totally different to knowing without a shadow of a doubt that you can do it.
You have to know in your head and your heart it’s already done and you are just on the path to completing it.
Once you’ve cracked this there really is no stopping you
8. Don’t Listen to what Everyone says is the Right Way
Everyone is different and the ways you achieve success will depend on your personality, likes and dislikes and personal situations.Embrace your own individuality. You are amazing and unique and so is your life.
If you are a vegetarian and want to lose a stone you would not go on a carnivore diet (of which there are many) because you were told it was the best diet out there .
It may well be the best diet for a meat eater (who may try pressurising you into doing it) but would be disastrous for you. It’s an obvious example I know but it really does apply to most situations in life.
9. Be Selfish- Set the Goal for You
Hey don’t get me wrong here I’m not advocating living a selfish life, that’s a terrible idea, but remember you are trying to improve your life or achieve something that will benefit you as well as the others around you.
So if you are being told that you looked much better when you were a size 10 but are now happy with your healthy size 14 don’t feel you have to pander to someone elses view of what you should be.
If on the other hand it’s you that has decided that size 10 is where YOU want to be …..go ahead that’s a horse of a different colour
10. If you Don’t Like It Don’t Do It
Life is too short.
If you have decided that you are going to create a new wardrobe and make your own clothes as you have a burning desire to be original. Then a month down the line you hate the thought of getting behind that sewing machine one more time, swap it up. There are other ways to create a wardrobe.
Try knitting or up cycling second hand clothes by hand. It’s crazy to tie yourself down and much more beneficial to think outside the box.
It’s not defeatist to decide you don’t like what you started.
11. Fashion your own fantasy
Have your own vision. It’s fine to be different. Use your own intuition. There is no-one knows you, better than you.
Just because your intent or vision may not conform with the norm it doesn’t mean it’s wrong or won’t work.
Step on the toes of convention and have fun doing it.
Just as long as you are not having a detrimental effect on yourself or others go for it.
The people that make the most impact are those who have ideas and visions outside the norm.
12. Start Each Day a New
Live in the present. It’s such a good philosophy and easier said than done. It makes so much sense when you realise the only impact you are able to make on anything is in the present moment when you take an action.
What happened yesterday is done. There is no changing it!
If you want to lose a stone but yesterday you drank 4 glasses of wine, had a bacon butty for breakfast a KFC for lunch and finished the day with steak, chips and a cream cake, let it go. (I have to point out here that this example is based on one of my off days and my love of all food which is bad for me but so flippin yummy.)
It happened let it go and use each moment today to move forward. Stressing will only hold you back and may well get you running for another comfort cake.
13. Don’t Fight Temptation
Well at least not all of the time. This sort of fits into the “be flexible” category. Usually if you are making a change it’s going to be a long term decision affecting the rest of your life.
So if your goal is something like “watch less TV.”….. then you fine yourself with a totally free day and an enormous urge to have a pyjama day and binge watch as many Peaky Blinders episodes as you can ( O.k I admit my daughter and me recently did this….. it was GREAT completely indulgent and fabulously unproductive!) it’s fine and a little indulgence makes you feel you are not missing out. It’s easier then to keep going for the rest of the time.
14. Enjoy Every Minute
Have fun every day. If you have a vision it makes sense to have a vision you like. If you want to get fit but hate walking try swimming or dance classes (or videos you can enjoy in private). Make it work for you so that you look forward to doing it.
And that’s it. That’s how I make New Year Resolutions work for me without actually making a single one.
I’ve ended up setting 4 intentions for this year. Sorry Guys I can’t tell you what they are yet as I’m trying hard to follow my own advice and until I have achieved them they are a secret………we’ll see how that goes and if I can actually keep my mouth closed long enough to pull it off.
I’ll finish this post by sending you all my very best wishes for a prosperous, happy and awesome new year. Have fun and love all of those around you.
2019 is going to be great. Can’t wait to get started X